I Wasn't There
by Phinneas McCheeser
Summary: A series of poems about Will's experiences in Skandia and Halt's reactions to them.  Poetry ranging from K to T  for character death.  Note: Updates will be slow, seeing as I have to write the poems first.
1. I Wasn't There

**OK, this is my first RA story. If you're curious as to what it's about (and you really shouldn't be), it was inspired while I was reading book 3. This is Halt's thoughts after meeting up with Will in book 4 and hearing his story.**

All this time you were all alone,

All this time you were on your own,

All this time without a hand to hold,

All this entrapment in snow and cold.

If only I had been there for you,

If only I was by your side,

If I was there the whole time through,

Maybe your spirit wouldn't be broken in two.

A spirit broken by suffering and pain,

Who reached out for help again and again,

Who smiled through tears;

Who comforted fears;

All the time reaching for a hand in the rain.

You cried out for help, yet none heard your plea,

You cried out for someone, cried out for me,

But I was too far away, I couldn't hear,

And then your memory ceased to just be,

And I couldn't save you from your greatest fear.

I wish it was different, wish I'd been there,

I wish somebody had the heart to care,

I wish I could have saved you in your greatest time of need,

But I wasn't there, no I wasn't indeed.


	2. Forever More

**OK! Here is Poem Number 2! Hope you all enjoy it!**

**Also, thanks for all the positive reviews I got on the last poem. Writing is hopefully my future career, so all the nice comments make me feel so HAPPY! =D**

Terror closing in on you

Like walls of solid rock and stone

Icy fingers reaching towards you;

You who feel alone.

The moon hides face behind a cloud

As light that never truly stays

And as your tears come falling down

They freeze in air like shattered lace.

The story of a valiant knight

Who fights for good and fights for light

Goes spinning through your tortured mind

As you fall down, away from sight.

Your thoughts are focused on the one

Who loved you just like his own son.

"I'm sorry Halt," you whisper now

And close your eyes forevermore

Walk slowly through the open door.

An arrow shoots the hourglass

As sands pour out; of time long past

The shattered glass of memories

Is broken, never more to be.

Faces in the shimmering sand

Of ones you left behind before

You traveled to this distant land

Never to see again once more.

The warm brown eyes will never see

Your laugh that will be heard no more

As you lay still in Death's embrace

Sleep peacefully forever more.


	3. Hope

**I'm terribly sorry for those of you who put my story on alert – my slow update is shameful. However, for those of you that enjoy this story, I now have an account on FictonPress that will be mostly for my poetry. If you like this, go search me! I will be allowed to post stories tomorrow at noon, so if you search me by Wednesday, I should have some stuff up. My username is The KlorpMaster . **

**And now, without further ado, here is chapter 3!**

My name is Hope, I am just like a fire,

One that you'd make at home in your hearth,

When Courage is gone I'm the only survivor,

Giving the broken spirit warmth.

In daylight time, oh how I prosper

But I'm never showing what I have to offer,

When night approaches, daylight runs,

People to my warmth will come.

It is now my flame burns bright,

To speed away the dark of night.

_But if water can end the fire's life,_

_Then, can't Hope be sacrificed?_

For though my embers sometimes die

Whenever the need may arise,

When hunger, pain or fear draws nigh,

Hope will rise to help and fight,

Until the mornings peaceful light.

If water maketh fire flicker,

And fire can spring back to life,

Then why can't Hope's flames be relit

By Courage's eternal light?

**What did you think? Please R&R!**


	4. The Tears I Cry

**Another one! You are all **_**so **_**lucky. I felt like posting – and I was feeling a bit guilty about not having posted in a while. So here it is – Chapter 4. To be honest, this one isn't my favorite, but I don't hate it either, so I put it up. Tell me what you think!**

My tears run freely down my face

An act of simple commonplace,

As I let loose my greatest fears,

In the act of weeping tears.

I had a life I can't remember,

Set apart like a golden ember,

I try to see and try to feel,

I hope that someday I will heal.

I want to see, I want to hear,

I want to pour out all my fears,

But all that comes out are my tears.

I have a want that's now a need,

But there's a vow I have to heed,

I must remember what pain seared,

My life, so there are only tears.

One day I'll break out of my shell,

Where mind and body now doth dwell.

"You have a family you left behind!"

Comes out from the innermost part of my mind.

I know I'll see, I know I'll hear

I know I'll pour out all my fears,

But right now at this moment, here,

All that comes out are my tears.

~fin~


	5. Finally Home

**Oh yay—another update! This might be the last one before school starts for me on the 6****th****. But never fear—I shall keep updating. I've actually written several of my best poems while I'm at school, so yeah.**

**Here it comes!**

I was lost in the Land of Snow,

But now I'm found and now I know,

I'm safe within your arms tonight,

And I can sleep 'til morning's light.

It was hard, without you there,

And yet I knew that out somewhere,

You had been constantly searching for me,

And one day within your arms I'd be.

I made many decisions without you by my side:

Where to run, where to fight, when to flee, where to hide.

I wish I could say the worst was over and done,

But saying that would be lying, to you and everyone.

I must face the truth, I cannot lie,

I should look cold reality right in the eye,

But I can't and I won't and—oh, Halt, it's my fear,

That if I wake up I won't be here,

I'll be back within that awful place

Where they know no forgiveness or mercy or grace.

I've seen a lot, and now I know,

As blood do staineth red the snow,

Here's a place where Evil comes and goes,

I feel it more as my pain grows.

My pain is a secret I hide in myself,

High up upon the invisible shelf.

No one has seen or felt it but me,

Now it's pouring out for the world to see!

You are some one in whom I can confide,

You're loving, peaceful, gentle, and wise.

You can whisk me away from the places I've been,

But nothing you can try to do can change what I have seen.

I've seen hunger and sickness, pain and cold,

I've seen dying young and withering old,

I have seen death, stared him right in the face,

And I almost died, trapped in that awful place.

I cried out for help, and who heard my cry?

What is the reason that I didn't die?

You say that I'm destined for great things someday,

That day does seem so far away.

You say I'm destined for great things, but how?

One day I'll find out, and this is my vow.

**So how is it? Please tell in your REVIEW!**

**Many thanks!**


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